Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
