so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
