Princesses don't give blow jobs
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
