the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
