also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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