I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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