Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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