I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize