his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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