North Korea, Best Korea!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
