in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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