I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
