The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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