He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
