Who did Billy Mays play for?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
