do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
