My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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