is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
