new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
