so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
