apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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