The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize