So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
