For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
