I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
