Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize