it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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