Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
