He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
