Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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