I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize