I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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