Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
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