So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
