I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize