This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
