Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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