I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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