Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
