the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
