I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
