My first STD was from a foam party
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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