If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
