This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
