Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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