Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Sponge bath it is.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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