Me too!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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