it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
