For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
