States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize