I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
