wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
