Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
