I showed him my bush... on skype.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
