hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
