Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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