Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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