Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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